That Endometriosis Life

I can vividly remember the day that my Endometriosis began.
I was 16, a soon to be junior in high school, and went to bed on a summer night after hanging out with my girls!  Suddenly, I found out that I was pregnant and I was not sure how that happened.  I accepted it though and went through all nine months of pregnancy.  Then it was time for me to have my baby and I felt every bit of pain that was involved in my labor and delivery.  I had a beautiful surprise that I had not one baby but two, oddly, one was black and the other white.  When I left the hospital and returned home I awoke in my bedroom at my parents.  Now no longer dreaming my body was still in as much pain as I had dreamt I was in.  So my logic told me it wasn't a dream and I walked around my parents house looking for my babies, don't judge me it was like 4 A.M. so I was not in a right state of mind.  When I realized that everything had been a dream I was so confused why my body hurt so badly, hunched over barely able to move pain.  From that day on I continued to get that pain.
What is Endometriosis?  Simply put its scar tissue that forms because of endometrial cells being where they should not.  Its such a weird disease (fitting since my body is known to be so weird)  they do not really know much about it, like exactly how it gets there or how to really treat it.  They do know a couple of things though which is helpful.  It can be extremely painful, though not for everyone, and it can cause infertility. 
When I got that news that I may never have a child I was heartbroken it was all I ever wanted, I mean come on I had that vivid dream and then at least one a month after that.  Luckily, I found a loving man who still thought I was worth something after hearing that news since not everyone would want to deal with that.  I am so blessed however that even with having Stage 4 Endo (after my diagnostic surgery, my doctor drew a picture of uterus and just started to dot all over it, even outside of it to show me how much scar tissue was there) that Sean and I were able to have our beautiful son Briggs so quickly into our marriage.  There are times though when I get sad seeing how easily friends and family are on to baby number two because I am not sure if we will get that opportunity.  But I know that The Lord has a plan for us and will accept any blessing or trial he sends my way.
I have dealt with this pain for so long that I can ignore the mild days!  But those days seem to be growing few and far between.  There are days when my body is particularly rude to me and I am physically and mentally exhausted, even nauseous from the pain that I am in.  I am still figuring out how to manage it on the really bad days, but here are some things that I have found helpful to take the edge off.

• Treat yo'self to an amazing bath with a Bath Bomb he seems to be magic with any pain.
• Get massaged from someone who love you!  (Sorry for the lush plugs) I love this Massage Bar
• Eat some chocolate, or your favorite caffeinated beverage (Dr. Pepper for me!)
• Watch your favorite movie with your handy heating pad on HIGH
• Most importantly relax your mind as well

Relaxing is very important.  When I am in pain and do not feel up to being out of bed, I tend to get down on myself about being a bad mother and wife.  Unfortunately Endo does affect my life, even though I wish it didn't,  sometimes I need help to watch my baby boy because I physically need that time to myself.  As a wife its hard knowing that I cannot be intimate with my husband when the pain is bad.  But I have to remind myself that there are still more good days then bad (even if those good days have pain) and that I am doing the most can with my situation.  I am so blessed in my life that I even hate to complain (I do though) when something is not ideal for me.  But again, my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and has a purpose for my life, this is something that I will always treasure!